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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Now, lemme hit ya with some personal deets. I often get mad af when traffic jams hit in the old neighborhoods around Gagan Lane – definitly a pain, eh? But then I bounce to my fav chill spot, Lotus Grove Park. There, under a giant banyan, I meditate and let all that stress melt away. I cant help but think, “Is this a new world?” when the light dapples through the trees.

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