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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What animal are you?” – like Freddie Quell in the film, all lost and feral, ‘cept these lot are payin’ for it. Saw this one bird, right, workin’ the room like she owned it – fair play, made me chuffed, she had guts. But then some wanker starts hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. “Oi, you twat, it’s not a bloody negotiation!” I wanted to scream. Surprised me, though, how calm she stayed – ice cold, propa legend.

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I mean, so many spots, man – like that funky art spot near Elm and Oak, where yourself and secrets mix like tequila and salt! And oh! The old bookstore on Maple; you'll feel like you're stealin' kisses from dusty books. Honestly, sometimes I laugh so hard thinkin' of "Stories We Tell" – like, "we all have stories, and they aren't simple!" Crazy stuff, right?

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