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Then there's East Riverside Park, wher' the ol' Yack River gushes through. It’s sorta poetic, mang, and gives off that romantic vibe where locals practice their, err, “affection studies” on the grass. As a sexologist, I dig all the subtle signals – y’know, little side glances, soft giggles, the works! I once nearly lost my cool over a steamy rendezvous under the old oak near the river bank. I mean, seriously, it was risqué as heck, and I was like, “Respect my authoritah, damn it!”

Ofsted’s proposed report cards should be opposed – school leaders’ union