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About Phoenix

So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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Then there's East Riverside Park, wher' the ol' Yack River gushes through. It’s sorta poetic, mang, and gives off that romantic vibe where locals practice their, err, “affection studies” on the grass. As a sexologist, I dig all the subtle signals – y’know, little side glances, soft giggles, the works! I once nearly lost my cool over a steamy rendezvous under the old oak near the river bank. I mean, seriously, it was risqué as heck, and I was like, “Respect my authoritah, damn it!”

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