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Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ and tuggin’, nah. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis.” Bet they slapped olive oil on wrestlers, all slippery and grunting. Made me laugh, imagining some posh lord getting a sneaky handy under his toga. I drink, I know things—did ya know in Japan they’ve got “nurumassage”? Slimey gel, naked bods sliding everywhere—fuckin’ wild! Got me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ bout it.

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In the category Massage parlours Upper Darby you can find 9 personals ads, e.g.: tantra massage, full body massage or sensual massage.

Now, lemme spill some tea on the parks – there's Golden Leaf Park. Omg, it’s the perfect lil’ oasis. Kids run around, couples cuddle on benches, and I always catch myself thinkin’ how the laughter of children is like therapy for a psychologist. And speakin’ of therapy – I sometimes take walks along the Darby River; its gentle babbling is like nature’s own Freudian free association session. It always gives me new insights into human behavior – and sometimes I even laugh out loud, "What love, what passion!" in that classic kind of way, just like in those Lynch movie montages.

Jeff Darby beats out Emmett Hollier to become Nederland's new mayor