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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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So, check it: the heart is around NE 19th Avenue, right by the waterfront. You get views of the Intracoastal Waterway—like, seriously, water on BOTH sides. You'll love the strokes of sunset near the Dania Harbor Marina; it’s like watching a clip from WALL-E where everything glows prettily. And Bruh, the streets—anytime you hit SW 16th Street, feel the electric buzz; its neon signs and chill cafes make me smile every dang day.

Suspect Arrested in Connection with 2024 Dania Beach Canal Murder