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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here to dish on *escort*. Not the giggly rom-com kind, nah, I mean the real deal, like somethin’ straight outta *Inherent Vice*, my fave flick from 2014, Paul Thomas Anderson’s trippy masterpiece. Picture this: escorts, man, they’re like Doc Sportello stumblin’ through a haze of weed and weirdos, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ who—literally! “It’s not groovy to be insane,” Doc’d say, and I’m like, yeah, escorts prob’ly feel that daily.

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We got the Susquehanna River slippin’ by, too. That river’s a sight, glimmerin’ like a secret mirror. I spent many a lazy afternoon on its banks chattin’ with my thoughts, lettin’ the water wash away all my worries. Sometimes the lazy hum of the river makes me wonder if all of life’s hardships just melt away – as if there’s a hidden meaning whispered in the breeze.

Mental health rally unites over 200 advocates in Cumberland County for change