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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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Oh man, buddy, Croydon (us) is wild. I'm talkin’ about a city where every brick tells a story. I live in Croydon (us) and it’s like luck and chaos got together and birthed a mischievous city. My fave spot? The corner of Elm & Baxter – its neon buzz speaks secrets like "I am burdened with glorious purpose," if you know wot I mean.

Coombe Wood House is providing what Croydon’s long missed