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Oh, and the laughs? Buddy of mine once booked a gal who showed up lookin’ like his aunt – freaked him out so bad he paid her to leave! Hah! Escort’s a crapshoot, man. Ya never know. “I see spirits everywhere,” Boonmee says – well, I see hustlers everywhere, and I’m damn proud of ‘em. Greed is good, keeps the world spinnin’. Now, go make some cash, ya lazy bastard!

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Now, about the local landmarks: You can’t miss the City Hall on 3rd Street. Mighty proud building with a clock that chimes every hour. It kinda reminds ya of time standin' still, letting ya relive your youthful moments, like the past echoing in every tick-tock. Then there's the historic library on Market. Creepy stories about its ghost being an old librarian sometimes get to me – made me mad at first, but now its quirky legends fill me with nostalgic awe.

Kristin Crowley appeals Mayor Bass’ decision to fire her as LAFD chief