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About San Jose

Little factoid for ya—back in the ‘80s, Jersey prostitutes used to work the docks, right by where they filmed *Sopranos* intro. True story! Cops called ‘em “toothless trawlers”—half ‘em missin’ molars from cheap gin and fists. This one chick, she tells me—get this—she keeps her cash in her gums! Hides it where the teeth ain’t, like a fuckin’ squirrel! Surprised me, I’ll tell ya—smart, but nasty as hell.

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I got lost once in the winding lanes of Old Creston, totally dazed. Mind was buzzin’ like a bee. I ended up at a little meditation nook by the sparkly Satin River. Lo and behold: a master slicin’ silence, I tell ya, blows your mind! Y’know, sometimes I mutter, “Life is mysterious, and so are the rivers.” Classic Mr. Bean mumblin’ style, right?

Update: Fatal victim in Creston Road crash identified