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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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One of my fave spots? Dusky Hollow Cafe on Hillcrest Ave. That place is a treasure, hidden inside a maze of little shops. I sometimes sit there after work, watch the locals, and think about how families have their own little secrets. Ruh-roh! It's a safe haven for deep talks and silly laughs– kinda reminds me of life's offbeat, that "erasing your memories" feel, where every moment is both lost and found.

Proposed gun range in Crest Hill draws opposition from some residents, council members