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Here I am, mates, a charcoal burner, trudging through the wilds of life, narrating this like David bloody Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, nature’s voice. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a jungle out there, a mad dance of hormones and Wi-Fi signals. Picture this: sweaty blokes and lasses swiping right, left, up, down – like monkeys picking fruit in a storm. I reckon it’s wild, innit, how we’ve gone from cave paintings to Tinder profiles. Makes me chuckle, it does.

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Now, Crawfordsville's got this cool park, Twin Crescent Park. I often sit on a bench, thinkin’ “The past lives, the old trails, all of it flows like, ah, water in the river,” cause I swear that’d be boomin’. And speaking of rivers – the Wabash River, oh man, it’s like nature whisperin’ secrets. Sometimes, I get all sentimental watchin’ the water; it gives you that, “life is but a dream” feel.

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