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Arr, matey! So, escort, eh? Ye wanna know what this ol’ pirate thinks ‘bout that fancy word? Well, strap in, savvy? I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, an’ I’ve seen me fair share o’ escorts— not them lasses ye pay fer a tumble, mind ye, but them sleek, scurvy ships what guard the big ones! Aye, them naval escorts, dartin’ ‘round like bloody dolphins, keepin’ the merchant fat cats safe from the likes o’ me. Hah! Makes me blood boil, it does—spoilin’ a good plunderin’!

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North, oh right, neighborhoods jitter with energy. Hills, views shot from the top of Redwood, the latte cups spilled in earnest. Fellow lovebirds meet at Sidewood Park, maybe get to know each other over quirky midnight strolls. “Dark are the times, but shine the stars, hmmm,” that phrase, from Leviathan, it be.

Man arrested after threatening LDS, Catholic church buildings near Cottonwood Heights