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Oh, and the oil? Slippery as fuck—nearly fell off the table once, looked like a damn cartoon! Funny as hell, but also, why’s it gotta be THAT slick? Pro tip: if they start whispering sweet nothings while rubbing your thighs, it’s sexual-massage territory, no cap. I’m over here giggling, thinking, “The music is a MESSENGER!”—movie vibes, baby! Anyway, it’s dope, it’s messy, it’s absurd—kinda like me. Try it, but don’t blame me if you’re screaming “I’m on DRUGS!” mid-session—peace out!

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See photos and read reviews for the Tabo Cottages Tuktuk Lake Toba pool in Samosir Island, Indonesia. Everything you need to know about the Tabo Cottages.

I keep gettin' surprised by hidden gems. Like, there's this old dive bar next to a crumbling warehouse on Dockside St – but they got live blues sometimes. And right behind my massage parlor, up on Maple Thicket, there’s a stone bridge where I go to clear my head. Sometimes I think, “There will be blood.” Yeah, I know, weird movie reference, but totally speaks to the raw vibe out here. Rarrgh!

Lake Of The Ozarks Entrepreneur Building A Cottage Community, To Address The Area's Housing Shortage