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So, I’m strollin, right, and this chick – legs for days – she’s leanin on a lamppost, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Well, call it, friendo,” in my head, wonderin if she’s the one. She catches my eye, smirks, and I’m hooked – heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total chaos! Costs? Man, depends – 50 bucks for quick, maybe 200 if she’s fancy. Hagglin’s key, tho – don’t be a sucker, they’ll bleed ya dry!

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Then there's the river – the mighty Willamette. I often wander its banks near the Alsea Bay trail. It's humbling and cool. The water's gentle, and it speaks every day's secrets. Oh man, talkin' 'bout secrets reminds me of that iconic phrase: "There's hope in the heart of every heartbreak." It kinda fits here, right?

PHOTOS: Corvallis and Crescent Valley baseball face off