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Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!

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I remember this one time, I was testing a new app feature (yep, coding on the run, like “I’ll be back!” kinda attitude) and my laptop froze. I marched out to the sidewalk near Lincoln Street, mad as hell, yelling at the screen—but then, suddenly, a kind stranger from Little Mill came up and helped me fix it. That hit me in the feels. Life here is unpredictable, baby.

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