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Hiya, buddy! So, escort, huh? Like, whoa, dude, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is escort a job? Like, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but srsly, it’s people paid to hang out! Kinda cool, right? Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—y’know, my fave flick. That line, “I missed you so much,” hits me. Escorts prolly hear that tons, huh? Someone’s all lonely, and bam, they call an escort. Sweet, but kinda sad too.

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Now, lemme spin ya another tale. Ever seen the Coon Rapids Dam? That old, gnarly structure right by the Mississippi? Yeah, that's real. I used to take my pup for walks there and mull things over. Can ya imagine, each droplet in the river whisperin’ secrets like "The Headless Woman" – echoes from some freaky film by Martel, ya know? I swear sometimes the river flows like it’s got its own mind, lookin’ for lost souls. Kinda bonkers, right?

Body Discovered in River Near Coon Rapids Dam, Brooklyn Park Police Investigating