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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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Now, lemme tell ya—Columbine, it's got layers. There’s West End. That’s where the cool cats hang out. They chill near Riverbend Park. The river—slick water dodging under Mill Street Bridge—it's like a pulse, ticking through the city, man. And oh! The market at 5th & Main—where you get your grub, your gossip; it’s a freakin’ melting pot of passion.

Columbine softball powers to 5A Region 3 title