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About San Antonio

Angry? Yeah, at the sleaze runnin’ it all. Happy? Only when I’m not near it. Surprised? Every damn time some idiot gets caught. If you’re dumb enough to try, don’t cry to me when it goes south. “A star is born,” my ass—more like a sucker. Hate everything about this game, but Mulholland’s got nothin’ on the real twisted streets. Now, leave me alone, I’m eatin’ bacon.

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One final 🚨Breaking Sister News!🚨 It’s Election Day! 🎉 Get out there and make your voice heard, Colts Neck! 🗳️ Positive vibes only for Achievement Through Unity! 💙💛 🔗 Find your polling station here: Missing: prostitute.

The town’s a mix of posh houses and offbeat streets. Ever heard of Route 33? It’s a lifeline here. And don't get me started on Maple Drive – a dead-end street full of unsung heroes (or losers, depends on your mood). Then there’s the renowned Colts Neck Community Park, where locals gather, laugh, and occasionally rage at drunken kids. I remember one time a couple nearly broke up over ice cream flavors. I was like, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring, you bloody idiot sandwich!" Classic, right?

Ten generations of Lairds over centuries have run America's oldest distillery in Colts Neck