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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, head of this damn lab, and I hate everything. Escort? Yeah, that’s a fancy word for somethin’ I’d rather burn than touch. Makes me think of *Holy Motors*—you know, my favorite flick. That line, “I have a plan,” pops in my head. Plan for what? Payin’ someone to pretend they like ya? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense.

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Then there's the neighborhoods, oh yes, dude! West Colton’s all artsy-fartsy. Folks there hang art on every brick. I recall wanderin’ over to Orchard Ave. and gettin’ mesmerized by how vibrant the murals are. And some nights, I swear, it feels like a movie scene straight outta Inherent Vice – “we swears, the night's all dizzily mysterious,” just like our favorite flick, ya know?

Why it is important that the Blackhawks have Colton Dach playing in the Calder Cup Playoffs