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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

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Hey, listen up, buddy! I've been chillin’ here in Colonial-Heights (us) for years—yeah, the real deal, not one of those tourist traps. Let me give ya the lowdown, alright? First off, Colonial-Heights is a mixed bag of vibes—think downtown buzz meets peaceful little nooks. I'm talkin’ narrow streets like Main St. and Liberty Blvd. that flow into quirky lanes like Willow Rd. where you can just veg out.

Which Petersburg, Hopewell and Colonial Heights restaurants will be open on Christmas?