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About Philadelphia

The trails? Sketchy AF. Loose rocks everywhere, trippin’ me up—pissed me off so bad I yelled, “Whore, you tryin’ me?!” But then the sun hits, golden light spills, and I’m cheesin’ like a damn fool. It’s bipolar, fam—half the time I’m cussin’ it out, half the time I’m in love. Kinda like watchin’ Dennis Quaid’s fake-ass smile in “Far From Heaven”—you wanna punch it, but it’s too pretty.

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First off, you gotta hit Broad Street. Broad, wide, and messy, just like my SERIOUS love life. There, you'll wander into the blend of cafes, bars, and shops. I mean, one minute you're checking out trendy boutique stores, and the next, you're in a dive bar that has customers who may or may not be whispering scandalous secrets. And, oh boy, as a sexologist—I see things! That one laundromat on Main St? I’m almost sure it doubles as a meeting spot for clandestine rendezvous. Not sayin’, but everything here feels deliriously inviting.

Eagles Tour Bus Heading To Camden Co. Before Playoff Match Against Rams