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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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Yeah, there’s even a hidden gem down by the river – Gee, I nearly forgot, it’s Spooky Stream. Not many know it exists. It's a quiet spot – perfect for clearing your mind or meeting a friend for quiet chit-chat. I always catch myself saying, “I’m just so in the mood,” like, for some aesthetics, if ya know what I mean.

Pa. state troopers will take over Collingdale’s nighttime police calls