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*voice glitches* Anywaysss, I tried it once – legit, no kiddin’. Felt like a black hole sucked out my stress, left me floatin’. The masseuse? Probs an alien, hands movin’ like light speed. “You’re too kind to die,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *Dogville* in my head, ‘cause it was THAT good. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect my stiff ol’ cargo-managin’ bod to melt like that. Pro tip: them scented oils? Game changer. Pick somethin’ weird, like patchouli – smells like a hippie spaceship.

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Our fave spot is Jackson Park. Ugh, it's so beautifool, like a secret hideout. There’s a tiny pond too, reflections, water, magic, and breeze – kinda like some artsy scene out of a movie, ya feel me? I sometimes sit on a bench, mind wanderin’ like “life, love, spas, Dogville!” Heh, not exaggeratin', just sayin'.

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