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Worst part? The liars. Don’t pee on my leg and say you’re 6’2” when you’re 5’7” in lifts! Or the “I’m clean” crowd—yeah, right, till the clinic calls. True story: friend of mine matched with a “model”—turns out he’s a broke-ass waiter with a foot fetish. She’s like, “Toes ain’t my kink, bro!” Laughed my ass off at that one.

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Look, there’s a neighborhood called Sunnyside where all sorts of quirky art installations catch your eye, and let me tell ya, my spa clientele always ends up spoutin’ off how it ain’t like anywhere else. It’s them little gem spots kinda hidden from the big shots. There’s also a diner on Oak that serves the best gravy, no jive, and it's been my secret unwind spot after a long day of massagin’ necks and backs, sorting out folks’ knots—ya know?

Two Bandits Brewing announces closing of Coldwater brewpub