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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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A Florida International University biology major and two University of Miami students were snared in a high-priced hooker sting earlier this week.

Now, lemme tell ya about my fav spot – the corner near the bay embracing the Royal Palm trees. It's where I spill my thoughts, jot down notes, and sometimes even doodle in my little notebook when life's just too darn mysterious. And oh man, the little café on Grove Drive? Crappy Wi-Fi, sure, but the vibe's so underrated. Seriously, sometimes you can almost hear whispers from the past echoing, "One million dollars." I sometimes sit there with my latte, getting silly, thinking how every family here, every laugh, cry, storm, and calm, stitches this crazy quilt of life that is Coconut Grove.

Carbone Vino Lands in Coconut Grove, Draped in Velvet and Nostalgia