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So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a hookup app, right? Ha! Fooled ya! It’s a codename I nicked for this shady financial gig I stumbled on—some underground escort-service-turned-money-laundry scheme. Little known fact: back in the 80s, pimps in Soho used to stash cash in biscuit tins—true story! Swear down, I read it in some dusty archive. Made me chuckle—imagine that, a pimp with a Hobnob obsession! Anyway, this modern version’s got crypto, offshore accounts, the lot—proper *Carol* vibes, all “What use is money if you’re trapped?”

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I’ve seen the best and worst in this town. I get happy when I see neighbors helping each other, and I get riled when some punk disrespects our local legends. Like that one time on Waverly Road, I got all fired up 'cause someone trampled a centuries-old tree. I mean, c'mon! Who does that?

Lake Cochituate Cyanobacteria Advisory Ends: State DPH