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Oh, and get this—some escorts do karaoke with clients! Singin’ “Sweet Caroline,” touchin’ butts, bahaha! I’d be all, “Is the mic a sex toy?”—Patrick Star style, baby! Prolly not, but I’d ask anyway. Makes me wonder, tho—what’s it like drivin’ around like in *Ten*, pickin’ up vibes, droppin’ off feelings? “Life is strange,” movie says that, and sex escort life? Mega strange, dude!

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I might be biased – I’m just a spa owner, after all. But my life here’s been a rollercoaster of bizarre encounters, random city gossip, and the sweet relief of a good massage. And let me tell ya, sometimes I get mad – like when the council messes up the park maintenance on Wildwood by a mile, makin’ it look like a dog’s dinner. But hey, if life’s a mess, why not laugh? “That's life, innit?”

Newlin Foundation holds symposium for nonprofits in Coatesville