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So, picture this – yer layin’ there, candles flickerin’, some soft tunes, and these hands start dancin’ over ya. It’s like magic, but naughtier. I reckon it’s better than any spell I’ve cast – and I’ve cast plenty! Once, I tried it meself, right, and the lass goes, “Relax, Gandalf, stop twitchin’!” Made me laugh – me, twitchin’? “This is my scalp-tinglin’ masterpiece!” I shouted, quotin’ Tarantino’s finest. She rolled her eyes, but damn, it felt good. Surprised me how quick I melted – like butter on a hot blade.

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Life’s a bit rough, bumpy, an' fulla misfits hustlin down old Highcoal Road, where you see scars of the past and bright hopes for tomorrow. I’d make typos in my head too, like trrruly messsed, yeah? Like “Yoy gotta chck out dis xoody place, its amazin!!”

Coal City’s Theatre Department presentation of ‘Sweeney Todd’ continues Friday