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Escorts, they’re a trade older than me—and I’m old as balls. Back in Rome, they had these “lupae”—she-wolves, they called ‘em—workin’ the brothels, howlin’ for coin. Little fact for ya: that’s where “lupine” comes from, sneaky, eh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of some posh escort callin’ herself a wolf. Bet she’d claw yer eyes out if ya stiffed her!

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Now, lemme share a lil' somethin'. As a masseur, I see y’all's hidden tensions. I patch up the stress from long, dusty work days and those festival crowds that roll in like a wild tidal wave to the downtown, near Main Street. People come in so knotted – reminds me of that oddness in Mulholland Drive: "Silence is the only friend that never betrays." Dang, when I work with 'em, it's like joinin' in on their secret stories, each knot a silent tale, you feel me?

The Original Misfits setlist: Here's everything the band played at Coachella Weekend 2