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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass Russian Sign Language translator, here to break down this sexual-massage madness! Alright, so sexual-massage—shit’s like a rollercoaster, right? Hands sliding everywhere, oil dripping, vibes all sensual and freaky. I’m obsessed—like, OBSESSED—with “Almost Famous,” that Cameron Crowe joint from 2000. You know, “It’s all happening!”—that’s the energy I’m bringing to this! Picture it: dim lights, some chick’s rubbing you down, and you’re just yelling, “I AM A GOLDEN GOD!” in your head, tripping balls on the absurdity of it all.
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There's a rad park called Chimney Bluffs Park that’s my go-to spot to unwind and think about the ups and downs of life. I sometimes sit on one of the benches and just watch SODA rippling in the creek nearby. I swear, nature here gives you that surreal sense that your past lives are calling you, like, "Remember me, remember me..." I get all choked up about it, honestly.
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