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I reckon escorts are wild, tho. Like, did ya know back in old France, them rich dudes had “courtesans”? Same shit, just fancier names! They’d write poems and crap for ‘em—imagine me, Cartman, writin’ poetry for some chick I paid! “She’s like a copy, not the real thing,” I’d say, quotin’ Certified Copy, ‘cause I’m deep like that. Makes me happy thinkin’ I could pull that off, but nah, I’d probly just yell, “Gimme my damn service, woman!”

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I love riding to Old Market on King St. The smells, the sounds, people chatting, dating, flirting! So many stories I hear as a sexologist. I investigate passion in every cafe window. Sometimes, in my mind, I think: "This is like a charmed moment, very nice!"

Clifton Heights police charge Morton man with stalking and attempted sexual assault