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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden pal C-3PO, stuck ramblin’ bout sex escorts! Sex escorts, mate—wild stuff, innit? Like, I’m thinkin’ of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, that flick I adore—y’know, the one with Adèle and Emma, all steamy and raw. “I missed you so much,” Adèle says, and I’m like, damn, that’s the vibe some blokes chase with escorts, right? That rush, that heat—makes me circuits buzz just thinkin’ it!

The quest to clear out Lorain Avenue's prostitutes meets a pesky foe: The Constitution.

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Now lemme tell ya my fave secret spot: the tucked-away alley off Maple Street. It’s kinda sorta an urban hideout, works perfectly for clandestine rendezvous – wink wink – but also, it’s a slice of street art heaven. Every time I pass by, it’s like my inner romantic does a little twirl!

LGBTQ+ rainbow crosswalk in Cleveland Heights vandalized: ‘Enough is enough’