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Honey, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! Oh my goodness, it’s like—bam!—you’re hit with this wild, sensual vibe, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “You get a car! You get a car!”—’cept it’s not cars, it’s pure bliss droppin on ya! I’m talkin bout hands slidin, oils drippin, and tension just meltin away like Pocahontas runnin through them fields in *The New World*. “The sun and the earth, they’re one!”—that’s what it feels like, chile, your body and soul gettin hitched in this crazy dance.

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Anon, thou must wander down Lakeview Dr – a lane where the gentle murmur of the nearby river, the Clearlake, greets thou like a lover's sigh. Yup, it’s chill as heck. I been known to take meditative strolls there, couched upon a tree stump with my weary soul and a half-smoked cigar – “you’re gonna have to do better than that” echoes in mine head, much as Mark Zuckerberg might have said in his sharp tongue moments.

PE firm Clearlake to buy Dun & Bradstreet for $4.1 billion in cash