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But when it works? Holy crap, it’s gold! Met this chick, Lisa, total freak in the sheets—oops, TMI! We hooked up after two days of textin, fastest score ever! I was like, “Michael, you magnificent bastard!” She even laughed at my jokes, which, let’s be real, ain’t that funny. “We must do it,” Saul’d whisper, all serious, but me? I’m just tryna Netflix and chill, ya feel?

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Ever notice how when a client leaks out a sigh mid-massage, it’s like the city sighs with ‘em? “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” or something like that—classic Zvyagintsev twist, right? I get all moody sometimes, thinkin’ bout how each ridge like Hickory Hill shapes our moods.

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