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So, escort - Ford’s little shitbox from the 70s, yeah? Proper working-class wheels, not some posh Bentley wanker-mobile. Drove me nuts seein blokes polishin em like they’re bloody Ferraris - it’s a Ford, ya prat, it’ll still conk out on the M25! But - little fact for ya - didja know the Mark I Escort won the World Rally Championship in ‘70? Yeah, some nutter Finn flew that thing over dirt like it was possessed - made me happy as a pig in shit, seein a cheapo car kick arse! Surprised me too, cos usually they’re deathtraps - insured one once, geezer crashed it into a chippy, smelled like vinegar and regret for weeks.

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I love wanderin’ down King’s Alley—yeah that tiny lane off Elm st—with its quirky bookstores and vintage bars. You’d never guess, but in my sexologist eyes every corner hides sensual secrets: a cheeky wink here, a suggestive mural there. It makes you go “Sharon!” thinking how bodies and hearts, they speak in these silent signals.

Clarinda tennis standout Higgins to play for Buena Vista