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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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Dylan Kelly (DOB 03/11/), Citrus Springs, FL – Sex Offender Failure to Report to Sheriff’s Office within 48 Hours of Vacate/Relocate: F.S.S. (4)(b)(1); and Sex Offender Fail to Missing: sex escort.

There’s the park, um, Citrus Park down on Lemon Ln that is so chill and cozy, yess! Real secret-zone, friend. Wear sun and rain boots, for sure. I sometimes hide there after a hard day, thinking “stupid, fat hobbit!” but then calm melts my soul. Trees and benches, and sometimes a stray dog! Oh, that dog always barks, oh bugger it, he scares some.

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