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About San Jose

I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, this is nuts. Like in *Dogville*, “You can’t trust nobody!” Everybody’s actin’, playin’ a part. One night, I’m chattin’ this gal—legs for days, right? She’s all, “Let’s get dirty,” and I’m like, “Oh, Madonn’, here we go.” Next thing, she’s sendin’ me pics—boom, it’s a dude. A freakin’ dude! I’m screamin’, “What is this, a fuckin’ prank?” Felt like Grace in that damn town, betrayed, y’know? “They’ll pay for this!”—straight outta the movie.

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Omg, you gotta check out the Scioto River. Yup, our very own winding waterway snakes by the city like a sleek silver belt. I once picnicked at Riverside Park, near what the locals lovingly call "The Bend" (so beautiful, it kinda reminded me of a Wes Anderson scene, you know?). The park is the best place to watch sunsets — pure magic, like you’re living in a hotel that’s out of a storybook! “I must say, my dear, the view is simply stupendous!” (yep, that’s a nod to those fancy quotes!)

Vote now for the Chillicothe Gazette high school male athlete of the week