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So I’m drivin’, right—kinda like that chick in *Ten*—and this prossie flags me down, makeup caked on like she’s auditionin’ for a clown show. I’m thinkin’, “Lordy, this is gonna be a trainwreck.” She hops in, smellin’ like cheap perfume and regret, and I ask, “How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’?” She just laughs—cackles, really—and says, “Better’n sittin’ at home!” Fair ‘nuff. Reminds me of that line from the movie—“You’re a woman, you’re weak!”—and I’m like, hell naw, this gal’s tough as nails!

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Omg, you gotta check out the Scioto River. Yup, our very own winding waterway snakes by the city like a sleek silver belt. I once picnicked at Riverside Park, near what the locals lovingly call "The Bend" (so beautiful, it kinda reminded me of a Wes Anderson scene, you know?). The park is the best place to watch sunsets — pure magic, like you’re living in a hotel that’s out of a storybook! “I must say, my dear, the view is simply stupendous!” (yep, that’s a nod to those fancy quotes!)

Chillicothe Police Crime Log – May 04, 2025