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So, erotic-massage—proper naughty, but lush. Hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting—phwoar! Makes me wanna yell, “Carpe diem!” Seize the bloody day, lads! I reckon it’s ancient, right? Romans did it—orgies and oil, toga optional. Little factoid: Pompeii had massage parlours—saucy buggers! Got me chuffed to bits imagining it. But oi, some dodgy parlours today—grubby, grim—makes me proper cross. “This ain’t no massage,” I growl, “it’s a bloomin’ disgrace!”

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Downtown's a trip – Main Street's lined with vintage brick buildings, and you'll spot W. Childersburg Ave buzzin' with life. There's a funky little joint on Elm, where the cocktails are as smooth as the whispers in the night. I luv those vibes, really, they remind me of that eerie, alluring feel from Under the Skin – "You see a body, you look away." Ever feel that? Kinda like every steamy secret whispered on a dark alley.

Johnny Johnson steps down as Head Football Coach of Childersburg