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I’m laughin’, tho—dudes out here braggin’ ‘bout “body count” like it’s Call of Duty stats. Chill, fam, it ain’t a high score! Me, I’m just tryna vibe, find a lil’ shawty who gets my weird. Last week, hit up this spot, girl was fine—legs for days, smile hittin’ me like a blunt. We talkin’, she drops she’s into tantric sex—hours of teasin’, no finish. I’m like, “Word? That’s dope!” but in my head I’m screamin’, “Bruh, I ain’t got that kinda patience!” Had me sweatin’ like Wayne on a sold-out stage.

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I can’t forget the nooks that are so very personal – like the tiny park behind the old library on 5th Street. I spent hours zapping stress away there. Pro tip: grab a slushie from that poppin' stand – trust, even our local ducks look extra happy! Oh, and did I mention the local strip mall on Pine for secret spa goodies? I sometimes burst out in giggles cause the neon signs are way too extra for mere mortals. Sweet!

WDFW re-opens crabbing in Willapa Bay and Point Chehalis southward after sampling indicates drop in marine toxins