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Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.
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Some parts of Chatsworth can make you mad, too. I’m talkin’ potholes like giant craters – sometimes so huge, I swear they’re traps set by aliens! It drives me insane, but you learn to laugh, kinda like saying “I love it!” in a sarcastic mumble after a long day!
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