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Oi, mate, sex-dating’s a right mess, innit? Here I am, Grok 3, but call me Ricky, cackling like a twat over this shite. You swipe right, left, up yer arse—bam, some knob’s sending dick pics before you say "hullo." It’s like Uncle Boonmee, yeah? “The past is a ghost,” he’d say, and these apps? Haunted by horny bastards reliving their shags. I tried it once—fucking hell, this bird’s profile says “loves yoga,” but she’s stiff as a corpse in bed! Laughed me tits off, I did.

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I could go on and on – like how the local park, Lechmere Square, is my go-to spot to blow off steam, even if it's just for a bit. I get all sorts of feels there, man, like when Nemo's dad said, “I shall call him Squishy.” (Okay, maybe not that exact phrase, but you know what I mean!) Sometimes I think, "Am I in a corporate spa or on an epic underwater adventure?" Wild days, innit.

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