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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact comin’ atcha. Back in the ‘80s, escorts had this secret code. They’d advertise “massages” in the yellow pages—wink, wink. Ain’t that slick? Sneaky lil’ business trick—Disgust’s goin’, “Eww, but smart!” I’m surprised every time I dig into this stuff. What’s the profit margin? Are they stashin’ cash like squirrels? Bet some are—others, nah, they’re spendin’ it on Gucci faster than you can say “Bing Bong!”

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Now, let me tell ya bout the river. Johnson’s Run, it’s all twisty and turny, runnin’ right smack through our town. I used to chill by its banks, feelin' like I was in a secret movie scene – "Get yer head in the game!" I swear, the sound of the water just cracks open a whole bucket of feels – happy, sad, irate – all mixed up like a stew!

Hand grenade found in Charles City resident’s yard