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So, this broad, she hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m like, “You ever feel lost, doll?” She laughs, “Every damn day, mister.” Boom, straight outta the movie, “Can you keep a secret?” I ask. She nods, I’m thinkin’, “I’m married, but who gives a fuck?” That’s me, Tony fuckin’ Soprano, breakin’ rules, feelin’ alive. But then – fuckin’ surprise – she’s got a sob story. Kid at home, ex screwed her over. I’m pissed now, “Why’s life gotta be so shitty?” I yell. She shrugs, “It just is.”

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The Chantilly Library on Main Street lets me chew on words. Books, dust, and irony. A bit like my mood. Sometimes, I worry over tiny police sirens over at Bear Branch. They just can't get it together!

Whole Foods Turned Its Cult Classic Berry Chantilly Cake Into a Latte and It's Available Now