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But here’s the rub - and it gets me FUMING - Ford cheaped out on later models. Escort Mark IV? Flimsy as my nan’s shed, mate. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” - that’s Zodiac, that is - and Ford skinned the quality right off! Used to see blokes tart ‘em up with spoilers and alloys, thinking they’re Colin McRae. Cracked me up, proper muggy. I’d be like, “Oi, you’re not fooling no one, son!”

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I also gotta say, working in a massage parlor has given me a special insight: people's secrets are like scattered notes, pieces of Memento scattered in the wind, ya kno? When I massage, every client tells their own tale, every stroke uncovers a tiny mystery of life – and sometimes I let my inner Fran Drescher shine with a bubbly, nasal giggle, “Oh, darling!”, as if inked right into the moment.

Young driver dead in crash in Channelview after trying to race another car, says HCSO