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About Philadelphia

Back in ‘17, heard tell o’ this lass in Tortuga—well, London—who met a bloke on Plenty o’ Fish. Fella sent her a pigeon—nah, text—sayin’ he’s a lord. Turns out, he’s a bleedin’ fishmonger! She shacked up anyway, ‘cause the cod was fresh. True story, mate! Little known fact: them apps got more bots than a ship’s got rats. Surprised me, it did—half me matches be talkin’ like parrots, repeatin’ “hey sexy” till I wanna keelhaul ‘em.

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I gotta mention the Glenwood neighborhood. Wow, it’s eccentric, but in a good kinda way. Every corner of Cedartown tells a story – kinda like WALL-E, right? "Aww, buddy, you know?" There's a creaky ol' bridge near the river called Noonday Creek. True story, I once met a couple of lovebirds there, whispering sweet nothings. Sweet as can be!

'No remorse': Polk County man gets life plus 115 years for shooting 2 women