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Aight, so sexual-massage? It’s that sneaky lil treat, half hush-hush, half “oh shit, that’s good!” Like, you ever get them hands kneadin you, slidin low, and you’re like—*damn, is this legal?* Spoiler: depends where you at, ha! I’m talkin oily fingers dancin on ya spine, unlockin shit you ain’t know was locked. Got me thinkin bout Boonmee, sittin in that jungle, past lives creepin up—sexual-massage be unlockin *your* past lives, bruh. Like, “I was a king once, now I’m moanin!”

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Man, let me tell ya, as a relaxation specialist, I notice deets others skip. Every cracked sidewalk tells a secret, every tree at Patapsco Valley State Park hums a tune. That park! Wot a vibe! With winding trails and the Patapsco River glistening like a piece of spilled soda on a summer sidewalk. I sometimes sit on a random bench wondering, “Why's life so damn beautiful?” sometimes with a sad chuckle when I think of my busted skateboard days… lol.

Fire dept. meets with neighbors after fatal Catonsville fire