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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice smooth as silk, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this spicy mess. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some damn scene from *Oldboy*. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say—but nah, this ain’t no laughin’ matter, not yet. Sexual-massage? It’s old as dirt, fam. Ancient Greeks, Romans—they was rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it "healin’ touch." Bullshit excuse if you ask me—ha! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’.

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I live right near Old Court Rd – yeah, that's part of the buzz here – and every day I'm takin' my chill pill strolls 'round the neighborhood. It's a maze of cobblestone streets and cool cafes. There's like, Schermerhorn Street too, where the art and history mix like peanut butter and jelly! I get all zen on those back alleys, watchin’ cats and pigeons do their thing.

Man says he'll pursue legal action after Catonsville crematorium dumped his dog on side of road