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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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Man, let me tell ya, as a relaxation specialist, I notice deets others skip. Every cracked sidewalk tells a secret, every tree at Patapsco Valley State Park hums a tune. That park! Wot a vibe! With winding trails and the Patapsco River glistening like a piece of spilled soda on a summer sidewalk. I sometimes sit on a random bench wondering, “Why's life so damn beautiful?” sometimes with a sad chuckle when I think of my busted skateboard days… lol.

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